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✨ Good morning! Today is Friday, November 9, 2018 and we’re hoping for multiple orgasms this weekend.
BULLETIN: DEADLY LINE DANCE
• The Background
We keep hoping we’ll go one week without reporting on a mass shooting in the United States of America, but unfortunately, that week is not this one. Less than seven days after a gunman opened fire on a yoga studio in Tallahassee, Florida, 12 more were killed at a country bar in Thousand Oaks, California. Late Wednesday night, a gunman opened fire on the Borderline Bar & Grill during what’s known as “college night.” He managed to fatally shoot 11 patrons and one police officer, later identified as Ventura County Sheriff’s Sgt. Ron Helus, a 54-year-old veteran who was less than a year from retirement. According to reports, the shooter, later identified as 28-year-old Ian David Long, a former member of the U.S. Marine Corps, shot a security guard outside the venue, before forcing his way inside. Once inside the bar, he killed Kristina Morisette, who was working at the desk (presumably collecting cover charge) and began shooting at college students on the dance floor. CNN
• What Else You Need to Know
While victims are still being identified, we know that in addition to Sgt. Helus and Morisette, Long (who eventually turned the gun on himself) killed Telemachus Orfanos, 22-year-old Cody Coffman, 18-year-old Alaina Housley, 23-year-old Justin Meek, 33-year-old Daniel Manrique, bar bouncer Sean Adley, 21-year-old Noel Sparks, along with friends and off-road enthusiasts Blake Dingman and Jake Dunham. In a press conference yesterday afternoon, police also confirmed that Long used a legally purchased firearm, but added an illegal extended magazine. He was known to police, after having “minor run-ins” over the years, once for an “unspecified disturbance” that may have been related to post-traumatic stress disorder, but he was never officially diagnosed.
• What’s Next?
Likely a lot of “thoughts and prayers” (ugh, enough already) from American politicians while they continue to do absolutely nothing about the United States’ very real, and very serious gun problem. (You know things are bad when you manage to survive not one, but two mass shootings before the age of 25.)
• Canada: The Green Team
The Ontario government may have abandoned efforts to slow climate change, but Ottawa is determined to pick up the slack. Yesterday, Environment Minister Catherine McKenna announced that the feds plan to take the $420 million earmarked for Ontario in the Low Carbon Economy Fund and send it to hospitals, universities, schools and other local businesses. The money is part of the $2-billion fund that the government set up to help provinces reduce greenhouse gas emissions. McKenna also said that in the wake of Ford’s withdrawal from the cap-and-trade environmental alliance between Ontario, Quebec and California, small- and medium-seed businesses will be able to go directly to the federal government for funding. Globe and Mail
• U.S.: Hard Fall
Fiery feminist and Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg isn’t as invincible as we thought. The Washington star has been hospitalized to treat three broken ribs. (She’s still a badass, in our humble opinion.) The 85-year-old fell in her office in the Supreme Court last week and was admitted to the George Washington University hospital for treatment after experiencing discomfort at home. Rib fractures are much riskier for the elderly, as they can significantly impact lung function. Here’s hoping that the stalwart justice heals quickly so she can achieve her goal of staying on the bench for another five years (and so Trump won’t be awarded another pick for the courts 🙏🏻). CNN
QUOTE OF THE DAY
The initiative must send the message that Europe is ready, that Europe is capable.
– A French defence ministry official, on the importance of the newly formed European Intervention Initiative, a 10-country military with members from France, Germany, Belgium, Britain, Denmark, Estonia, the Netherlands, Spain, Finland and Portugal. Global News
• Bad Business
Things just aren’t going well for Bombardier. After years of trade troubles and disappointed customers, the Montreal-based company announced a restructuring plan yesterday that will eliminate 5,000 jobs over the next year and a half. It’s selling its Q Series turbot aircraft program to Longview Aviation Capital for $300 million, and its business and aircraft flight and technical training unit to CAE. CAE’s also picking up training services from Bombardier for $645 million, bringing the total sale to just over $800 million. The company’s hoping that between the sales and the job cuts, they can save $250 million every year. Though the announcement was met with anger, Quebec Premier Francois Legault responded quickly, establishing a working committee to help manage the transition and find the displaced workers new jobs. CBC News
• Your Friendly Matchmaker
They say the best way to meet someone is through a friend — and Facebook’s banking on it. The social media site, made famous for its network of “friends,” has now launched Facebook Dating, an online dating tool that leverages the power of the platform to help users form romantic relationships. Much like Messenger, Dating is a feature within the site, allowing users to set up a separate profile (don’t worry, none of your activity on Dating will be shared on your news feed or your Facebook profile) where you’ll be matched with people based on your Facebook behaviour and common interests. Daily Hive
• MVP? Try MOP
The Canadian Football League announced the contenders for the Most Outstanding Player award yesterday (not to be confused with MVP, which is the one used in every other sport). Calgary Stampeders quarterback Bo Levi Mitchell and Hamilton Tiger-Cats QB Jeremiah Masoli are both up for the award, which is the CFL’s top honour for an individual’s performance. The winner will be announced during the 106th Grey Cup festivities Nov. 22 at the Winspear Centre in Edmonton where the Shaw CFL Awards are also presented. CFL
• Cue the Music
Canadian crooner Michael Bublé is making one heck of a comeback following his son’s successful cancer treatment. He just announced an upcoming tour, he’s getting a (long overdue) star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and to top it off, he’s releasing a new album. (Trifecta!) The star ceremony will take place on Nov. 16 ahead of his North American tour, which is set to begin Feb. 13 in Tampa, Florida. Nov. 16 also marks the release of his 10th studio album, Love, which comes with every ticket purchased for any of his 27 upcoming shows. (All we want for Christmas is you, Mr. Bublé!) UPI
• A Sweet Surprise
A couple from Cambodia has been selling doughnuts at their California shop, Donut City, for nearly 30 years. In all that time, Stella and John Chhan have always worked side-by-side selling their tasty treats until stock runs out, at which point, they’d close up shop. But when doctors discovered Stella had an aneurism, John was forced to run the shop on his own. Customers initially offered to set up a GoFundMe page for the couple, but John refused the charity. Then, Dawn Caviola, a regular customer, realized they could help by making sure the shop sold out early each morning so John could spend the rest of the day with his ailing wife. She posted the idea to social media, and just like that, Donut City started selling out of doughnuts by noon each day, allowing the couple to be together. (They had us at “doughnut.”) Global News
• Real Fake News
China’s been a couple steps ahead of the U.S. when it comes to censoring the media, and it’s just taken things a step further by introducing AI news anchors to its state-run press agency, Xinhua. It’s unclear what kind of technology the country’s using, but whatever it is, it’s pretty damn advanced: the AI anchors are basically composite images of real people spliced with synthesized voices. The new “news anchor” can broadcast the news 24 hours a day live and through social media, without needing a break to sleep, eat, or…you get the point. The whole thing’s scary (you can bet news anchors everywhere are looking into second careers), but a “news anchor” that’s programmed not to ask questions in a state where the press is already strongly censored by the government is downright terrifying. (Fingers crossed POTUS doesn’t get any “yuge” ideas.) The Verge
STRAIGHT TO THE POINT…
Sometimes there’s just too much news and not enough space.
One of Norway’s warships is looking a little worse for wear, after colliding with a Maltese oil tanker in a fjord.
• Despite its strong economic outlook, the U.S. Federal Reserve decided to slow its roll yesterday and hold interest rates.
• One of Canada’s most well-known stores will soon be under new management: Mountain Equipment Co-op longtime CEO, David Labistour, is stepping down next spring.
• Things aren’t looking so green for Freshii — the Canadian company just pulled its 2019 outlook due to “challenges” it’s facing in “achieving its forecasted store growth, sales, expenses and earnings.”
• John Mellencamp and Meg Ryan are going to the chapel, and they’re going to get maa-aa-aa-rried.
• Over the Wall
On Nov. 9, 1989, Communist East Germany opened its borders, allowing citizens to freely travel between East and West Germany for the first time in decades. It turned into quite the celebration with Germans dancing on top of the Berlin Wall.
• Confused Course
To be honest, we’re quite happy this is only in America.